Living Your Life By Design (Part II)
by KIRSTEN FRANKLIN
I want to welcome everyone back to the second installment of Living Your Life by Design.
Last time, we broke down our Areas of Life (see Living Your Life By Design (Part I)). We rated the Areas from 1 to 10, 10 being the perfect place. We looked at our Social life, Adventure/Fun & Experiences, Romantic Love Relationships, Home Environment (from the aesthetic view point), Health, Finances, Career, Spirituality, Intellectual Life, Creative Self, Family Life, and Contributions Back to Society.
Many of us are here because we believe we need to make a career change, let us focus on how you rated your current career. Is it at a five or below? If so, this would signify that this is an area that needs focused attention. This will not fix itself over time. In fact, any area that is not where you want it to be, won’t course correct without your specific intention and actions. Personally, I believe that we as women are in a unique position. We are expected to be both employed outside the home and run a full household. While this is not impossible, it does require for us to alter our expectations and visualization of what success might look like.
With that being said, let’s begin to focus our attention on how we can begin to be more intentional in this area and bring about the changes we desire.
Before you begin, make sure you are in a quiet area and will not be disturbed. Set aside 20-30 minutes and print this PDF, Your Superhero Self.
I want you to close your eyes and imagine you are your ultimate self, your Superhero Self. Picture it as if it was real right now. Watch it, like a short movie. Now describe yourself. How are you dressed? How do you behave? How do you feel? What does your daily life look and feel like? (The more clear and specific you can be the better, but it is okay if you can only see and feel generalizations--like my Superhero Self wakes up every day with joy, and then I wake my children up who don’t complain and eat breakfast and make it to school on time while everything is happy--that is fine). Just brain dump and write down everything you see and feel.
Now, still being your Superhero Self, list what your Core Values are and put them in order.
Take your time, really think about it, and be genuine to yourself. Don’t change anything because you believe what you think might not be accepted or goes against what your family or society says it should be.
Next, for each Core Value listed, think of how you act, behave, and think today. List two way in which you can act daily to be more congruent with your Superhero Self’s Core Values. For example, your Superhero Self wakes up with joy. If you do not naturally wake up in this state, think of ways to put yourself in this state. Make your morning alarm, your favorite song, or simply wake up screaming “I Love Mornings!!!!” every morning. Maybe, Superhero Self enters an office where everyone greets you. Accordingly, you start entering your office and greeting everyone every morning until it creates an automatic response in them and they start saying “Hello” and “Good morning” to you first.
Finally, list one thing you can stop doing that no longer serves your Superhero Self. For example, maybe you are a “Yes” woman. You like to say yes and help everyone. But, this does not serve your Superhero Self. From now on, you will stop automatically saying “Yes” to everything. In fact, your first mental response will be “No” and then you will ask yourself, “Should this turn into a yes? Why or why not?” When you say yes to others, thoughtlessly, you give away your time and power. If you are a, “Yes” woman, dig deep and ask yourself why is it so important to you to say, “yes” all of the time? For many people that I have worked with, it has boiled down to wanting to help, be liked by others, not be seen as a B!t@h, etc. And ultimately, if you dig deep enough, it will most likely be rooted in a self-worth issue. No matter what you decide to do or not do, the key is to simply take consistent action. Just do it and do it consistently.
When you don’t have a clear understanding or clear picture of who you want to be and what your core values are- you sometimes miss out on connecting why jobs or tasks don’t work out for you. Many times, it is the misalignment between your work and your core values that creates the static and ultimately causes us to feel bored or not loving our jobs, but unsure as to why. It is very important to first identify who you want to be and what your core values are. Not because you have to achieve that specific ideal, but more for you to be able to focus your energy and be able to determine the specific actions that get you to your goal.
Kirsten Franklin is an Attorney, Legal Recruiter, Executive Coach & Founder of CS Thrive. Her mission is to help individuals by helping them to recognize their true self-worth. She and her company help clients understand how to identify and release any self-doubts, fears, anxieties, or lack of certainty that is holding them back from achieving their life goals. Kirsten helps her clients to gain the tools necessary to lead intentional, purposeful and productive lives. To live life by design, not default. She has a niche in helping attorneys transition to their next big adventure.
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